Elucidation
by ksfd89
Summary: Oneshot about Rory helping Annie through her first breakup. Gilmore Girls isn't mine! Hope you enjoy it!


**Oneshot about Rory helping Annie through her first breakup. Gilmore Girls isn't mine! Hope you enjoy it!**

"Annie?"

Rory knocks gently on the door, letting herself in at the meek reply. Annie is lying on the bed, book and pen in front of her, but they're clearly discarded. There's a distracted look in her daughter's eyes.

"What is it, Mom?" Annie asks listlessly and Rory goes over and sits down.

"I just wanted to see how you're doing."

"I'm fine."

"Well, the studying is clearly going well," Rory teases, eliciting a faint smile. It soon fades as Annie says,

"I can't concentrate."

"Do you want me to help?"

"No, Mom."

"Do you want your dad to help?"

"No, Mom."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

" _No_ , Mom!" Annie insists, sitting up. "You know I don't. Stop asking."

Rory bites her lip and Annie closes her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she says eventually. "I didn't mean - I just don't want to talk about what happened."

"It might make you feel better."

"Matt and I broke up," Annie snaps. "What else is there to say? He was my boyfriend and now he's not. End of story."

Rory takes a deep breath at the familiar words. Annie, too, is acting like she did when Dean broke up with her and Rory knows she feels the same. Her daughter denies it, says she's fine, but there's an ache in her voice and sadness surrounding her, saturating her mood. It's been more than two weeks and Rory's heart is breaking for her.

"Annie, I've broken up with guys before," she says gently, moving so she's sitting next to her daughter. "I know how much it hurts. I was so sad, sweetie, and I didn't tell anyone about it. I wish I had. Even if they couldn't change anything, I'd have felt less lonely."

"I don't want to talk about it," Annie says in a low voice. "I can't, Mom. I just can't."

Rory nods, taking her hand, and Annie says fiercely,

"I'm never going to feel okay."

"Yes, you are. It just takes time."

"How can it?" Annie demands, wiping her eyes and getting up. "Half the stuff in here is his. He gave me the necklace on the mirror, that book is his, that movie we watched -"

"Annie."

"Mom, get rid of it," Annie says, seizing the necklace and pushing it in her mother's hands. "Throw it all away, please. I can't look at it, I don't want to think about him. Please."

"Annie, I don't know if that's such a good idea. I know you don't want me to say this, but you're only eighteen and -"

"You're right, I don't want to hear it!" Annie exclaims, eyes wide. "It hurts now, Mom! I don't care if it won't hurt in the future! I want it all gone!"

"Annie -"

"Mom, I don't want to see this stuff! You want me to feel better and I can't - not with having to think about him all the time! Please, please, just throw it away!"

Annie's eyes are desperate, her voice trembling, and Rory nods, closing her hand over the metal which is warm in her palm.

"Can I make a suggestion?"

"What kind of suggestion?" Annie asks suspiciously and Rory says,

"A boyfriend box."

"A what?"

Annie is confused, caught off-guard, and Rory elaborates,

"A box where you put all this stuff. I know you don't want to look at it. I didn't either, when I broke up with my boyfriend, and when I asked my mom to throw it all out she put it in a box for me. She said I'd want to look at it again, someday. I said I never would and she hid it all away and, in the end, she was right. When some time had passed and I felt a little better I was glad she'd kept it. It felt good to look at that stuff again."

Annie sits down, the fight gone out of her, and asks curiously,

"Do you still have it? Your box?"

"My Dean box?" Rory echoes in surprise. "God, I haven't thought about that in years."

"You brought it up!"

"I know, it's just - wow, it's been a long time. It's at Mom's."

"Can we go look at it?"

Annie is sitting up eagerly and Rory hesitates. She has an article to write and calls to make, but her daughter is sounding excited for the first time in more than a week, and Rory nods.

"Okay. Let me call Mom to tell her we're coming."

"I'm going to get ready," Annie says happily, jumping up, and Rory smiles, getting her cellphone and calling Lorelai.

"How do you feel about a surprise visit from the daughter and granddaughter?"

"Rory, you know the point of a surprise is to actually surprise me," Lorelai says, amused. "What's the occasion?"

"Boyfriend boxes."

"Excuse me?"

"Mom, remember when I broke up with Dean and you made that box of stuff for me? Well, you know Annie broke up with Matt. She's still taking it seriously hard and now she's begging me to throw out everything he gave her."

"And you said a boyfriend box was better than a boyfriend bonfire."

"She'll find that out in her twenties."

"She will at that," Lorelai chuckles. "So you guys are heading over now?"

"It's still there, isn't it? I haven't given her false hope?"

"Rory, you know what my housekeeping skills are like. If you haven't gotten rid of the box it'll be in your closet which, I'd like to remind you, still has a bulb which burned out in ninety-seven."

"Thanks for the history lesson."

"Way to make me feel old!" Lorelai exclaims and then, after a pause, asks, "So Annie's not doing too well?"

"She's hurting so much, Mom, and she won't talk to me about it."

"I guess she gets that from both of us," Lorelai says sadly. "She hasn't tried wallowing?"

"She won't admit she needs it."

"Something else she's inherited, huh?" Lorelais sighs. "But she's excited to come over?"

"I haven't seen her this happy in days."

"It must be a good idea then. I'll get the coffee brewing."

"Make it strong."

"Are you seriously doubting that?"

"You're right, sorry. Bye, Mom. "

"Bye, kid."

Annie races back in, tugging her jacket on.

"Ready, Mom?"

"Ready, Annie."

It doesn't take long to drive to Stars Hollow. Rory puts on the radio and, although her daughter doesn't sing along, she gently nods her head along with the melody, staring out at the scenery flashing by. Rory glances over but Annie doesn't notice, or doesn't want to, and they ride without a word.

Lorelai is waiting on the steps as they arrive and leaps up, running over to hug her daughter and granddaughter. She holds Annie for a little longer, kissing the top of her head and squeezing her hand.

"You okay, kid?"

"I'm fine, Grandma," Annie says, smiling at her. "What about you?"

"Me? I'm great, Annie, and if you go inside there's a pot of coffee waiting."

Annie grins, not questioning her grandmother's concern, and heads inside. Lorelai looks at Rory who sighs and says,

"She didn't talk the entire way."

"I wonder who that reminds me of. She's had a lot going on."

"I know," Rory says quietly. Lorelai squeezes her hand in response.

"She'll be okay. Let's go get that coffee."

Annie has beaten them to it and has poured out two cups, sipping her own. She drinks it in big gulps, cheeks pink, but Rory checks her impulse to ask her daughter to slow down. Annie is animated, happily telling her grandmother how her father is out of town until the end of the week but sent them pictures last night and pours herself more coffee with a splash.

"Hey, save some for the state of Connecticut," Lorelai teases and Annie puts down her cup, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry, Grandma."

"Drinking coffee is never a sin in this house. How about a poptart to go with it?"

"I'll eat it in Mom's room. Is her box definitely there?"

"Go see for yourself," Lorelai says, offering the poptarts. Annie grabs one, not bothering to heat it, and hastens into Rory's old bedroom. Rory takes a poptart herself before following her daughter, who has already pushed open the closet and is staring inside.

"It's so dark in here," Annie complains, voice muffled. "When did you last change the light?"

"A while ago."

"In this century?"

"Hey, I haven't lived in this house for a very long time," Rory says defensively. "That bulb burned out a long time ago!"

"And I bet twenty bucks it broke when you were a kid."

"Move over," Rory insists, ignoring the dig. "I think the box is in the corner."

Reaching in, she fumbles uncertainly, hoping not to disbturb a spider. Her hands brush against old sweaters, shoes and hems of skirts before landing on cardboard. Rory exclaims,

"I've got it!"

Pushing away the piles of clothes, she and Annie tug it out and sit back in triumph. Sneezing at the dust, Rory stares at how ordinary it looks. Her boyfriend box, after being cloistered away for so many years. It's strange to see it in stark daylight. Her thoughts are interrupted by Annie saying,

"Open it!"

"You do it," Rory says, pushing it over. "God, I can't even remember what's inside."

Annie pushes the flaps back and pulls out a yellow box.

"Um, Mom, do you want to explain why there's cornstarch in here?"

"I stole it!" Rory exclaims, laughing. "When I had my first kiss with Dean I was holding the box in the market and I said thank you and just ran out with it."

"You shoplifted? You said _thank you_?"

"I didn't mean to."

"Which?"

"Both."

Rory laughs and Annie shakes her head, staring at the box.

"You shoplifted cornstarch," she remarks. "I bet Dad stole way more cool stuff than that."

"You don't know that he shoplifted," Rory says, making her daughter snort. "Anyway, I don't want you to take it as an example."

"Relax, I skipped the rebel phase."

"Or you're just warming up it."

"Yes, that must be it." Annie shakes the box and asks curiously, "Why is it empty? Did you actually use the cornstarch?"

"Are you kidding? Have I ever shown any inclination towards cooking? I remember taking it out the first time and deciding it was a little gross to keep the cornstarch itself when I'd never use it. I just kept the box."

"What do you mean, the first time?"

"I broke up with Dean when I was sixteen," Rory says. "He got upset because I couldn't say that I loved him, and he didn't want to be my boyfriend anymore."

"That sucks, Mom."

"Yeah. It was our three month anniversary - God, it felt like such a huge deal then. Anyway, I came home and wouldn't tell Mom what happened, and I asked her to get rid of anything he saw and touched and she put it all in a box for me. That's how it began."

"When did you get it back out?"

"A couple of months later. I found the box by mistake and then it didn't hurt so bad. I told Dean I loved him and then we got back together."

Annie nods, not commenting, and Rory adds,

"Some stuff had a reprieve. I put most of the stuff back but I left out my fancy dress - the one you borrowed for the dance, remember? - and Colonel Clucker."

"Excuse me?"

"Colonel Clucker," Rory says, going to the chair in the corner and picking up the stuffed chicken. "He was with me since I was four."

"Ah, the thing you like to push in my face to wake me when we stay here."

"The _thing_?" Rory echoes, insulted. "Don't listen to her, Colonel."

Annie rolls her eyes but Rory sees her grin as she paws through the rest of the box.

"What's this?"

She holds up a bracelet with a broken cord, a silver medallion in its centre and Rory smiles.

"That was the bracelet Dean made for me. He gave it to me on my sixteenth birthday."

Annie examines it, rolling the metal between her fingers, and asks,

"Did you wear it a lot?"

"Are you kidding?" Rory laughs. "I wore it every single day we were together until it broke off in the shower. Oh, and when I lost it that time."

"When?"

"I guess I was about seventeen. Your dad had just come to town - it was around then. I lost it and didn't notice until Dean asked me where it was."

"Oops."

"Big oops. It was under my bed in the end - it was so weird because I'd torn that room apart. I guess I missed it because I was panicked."

"Huh," Annie says. She sounds almost amused and Rory frowns. She's about to ask her daughter to voice her thought but Annie interrupts with,

"I used to wear that necklace Matt gave me every day."

"I know you did," Rory says gently. Annie looks at the bracelet one more time before dropping it back in the box.

"Mom, can we go home?"

"Of course we can, sweets. We can go right now."

Rory leans over, stroking her hair, but Annie quickly gets up, ducking her gaze.

"I need the bathroom."

"Okay. I'll be right here."

"You may as well get the car ready," Annie says, her voice tight. "I won't be long."

"Alright."

Rory waits for her daughter to exit the room before looking in the box herself. The faded cornstarch, old sweaters and the simple, forgotten bracelet resting on top. Rory hesitates, picks it up and pockets it before putting the box back where she found it and going to say goodbye to her mother.

Lorelai is seated at the counter, flipping through a magazine, but puts it down as Rory walks in.

"Is she okay?"

"Not really," Rory says. "She wants to go home."

"Poor baby," Lorelai says, her eyes sad. "Are you sure you can't convince her to stay? We could watch _Love in the Afternoon_ or _Ishtar_ and eat tons of icecream and make ourselves sick."

"I'd love to, but Annie just needs to go home," Rory says apologetically. "She's tired, Mom - you know what I mean. Crawl under the covers kind of tired."

"I know that feeling. Was it the box? I thought she was excited to look at it."

"She was. She was fine and then she saw this." Rory gets the bracelet and holds it out in her palm. "Remember this?"

"The Dean bracelet!" Lorelai exclaims. "Man, I haven't seen that in years. And it upset her?"

"It reminded her of a necklace Matt gave her."

"Ah."

"Yes." Rory closes her palm but still looks at her hand, the cord of the bracelet hanging out, and Lorelai prompts,

"What is it?"

"What? Oh, nothing. Annie just said something - or not something, I guess. I don't know."

"That makes absolutely no sense."

"I told her I lost it when Jess came to town and where I found it. She looked like she was going to say something."

"Right," Lorelai says, suddenly evasive, and Rory stares.

"You know something. What am I missing here?"

"Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown."

"We're not in Kansas anymore! Tell me!"

"It's no big deal," Lorelai says, a guilty blush on her cheeks. "Just ask Jess about it."

"What does that mean?"

"It means - look, you remember that day you lost it? And then found it again? Jess was cleaning our gutters, remember?"

Rory stares at her, meaning slipping into place.

"Are you saying Jess took it?"

"I'm just saying to ask him."

"But -"

"Hey," a voice sounds from behind, making them jump. "Are you ready, Mom?"

Rory looks around to see Annie, wiping her eyes and sniffling a little.

"Yes," she says, quickly tucking the bracelet away. "Sorry, I got distracted. Got everything?"

Annie nods and hugs Lorelai goodbye, who kisses her cheek.

"Bye, kid. Make some time to watch a bad movie, alright?"

"Okay," Annie says, managing a smile and Lorelai adds,

"Or even a good one. Just promise me you'll watch a movie!"

"I'll work on it," Rory answers for her. "Bye, Mom."

"Bye, honey."

"And I'm going to nag you on that thing, you know."

"Just talk to Jess!"

Lorelai waves and waves as they get into the car and drive away, and it's only when they're halfway home that Annie asks,

"What thing does Grandma want you to ask Dad about?"

"Oh - nothing," Rory says hastily. "It's no big deal."

She looks over, expecting more questions, but Annie simply nods, distant for the remainder of the drive.

When they get home Rory makes them both coffee. Annie takes her, disappearing into her room, and Rory checks her messages. There's one from Jess, saying Philadelphia is going well and he'll be home by seven. Rory tries calling him, impatient on what her mother's suggesting, but Jess doesn't answer and Rory puts the phone away. She decides it's better to ask him directly anyway and walks over to her daughter's room, wondering if she can tempt Annie with a movie. Knocking, she starts to say,

"You know, we've got a full carton of mint chocolate icecream and it's a crime to waste it -" when she sees her daughter. Annie is crosslegged on the bed, gifts and clothes scattered around her, and tears are streaming down her face.

"Forget it," she sobs. "It's no good if it's not in cones."

"Annie!" Rory exclaims, running over and taking her in her arms. "Hey. It's okay."

"No, it's not," Annie cries, wetting her mother's cheek with her own. "How can you say that? It's over, forever, and I'm never going to be okay again."

"Yes, you are. I promise you are."

"There's no point," Annie says bitterly, shaking her head. "I wish I'd never fallen in love."

Rory kisses her cheek, holding her daughter close.

"This is going to sound dumb," she says, "but it's so wonderful to be in love. I know it hurts, Annie - it hurts so much - but you've experienced love. And wasn't it beautiful?"

"He broke up with me," Annie says, tears pooling on her mother's blouse. "And I thought I'd make a box like you did and I can't. All I can think about is how it's over - it's all gone. You finished with that guy because you didn't love him but I loved Matt. I loved Matt, Mom, and he doesn't love me back and - and -"

Annie bursts into a fresh set of tears and Rory rubs her hand over her back, soothing her.

"Is that what he said?" she asks gently. "That he doesn't love you?"

"He said we're going to college in fall," Annie hiccups. "And why waste time until then?"

"Waste time?"

"And I said it's not so far," Annie goes on, stumbling over the words. "And he said - he said we couldn't go back to how it was. It's over."

"Oh, sweetie."

"What did I do wrong, Mom?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Rory says firmly, cupping her daughter's face in her hands. "Annie, sometimes relationships just change. It was an awful way for him to tell you."

"You can't just stop loving someone, can you?" Annie demands. "When did it change? Why did it change?"

"Honey, I don't know. He probably doesn't know. It's got nothing to do with you."

"It has to have something to do with me or he wouldn't have broken up with me! I still love him! I want things to be how they were, I want to go back to how it was!"

"But you can't, Annie."

"You did," her daughter retorts. "It wasn't over with Dean at first, right? And Dad - you guys broke up and got back together. Why can't it be like that for us?"

Rory bites her lip. She looks down, takes a deep breath and says,

"Annie, love changes. I know they don't tell you that in movies -"

"Oh, Mom."

"But it does," Rory continues. "You change and sometimes love changes. It doesn't mean it was less true or real and that you did anything wrong...it's just that you're different than when you were sixteen, or eighteen, or even twenty. When I was sixteen I thought I'd stay with Dean forever. I really did love him, and I wanted to think I still did, even when I didn't. So I tried again, more than once, and it was a mistake. We weren't right for each other anymore."

"But what about Dad?"

"Well - I guess it was different. When we were your age, it was more that our lives were different. Your dad had stuff to work out, I had Yale, and then I had to work on going back, and then - Annie, we worked better together as adults. But if we'd tried to stay together, back then, we'd have fallen apart. We did, pretty much."

"Do you think that'll happen with Matt?"

Rory looks into her daughter's blue eyes, big with pleading and reaches out to stroke her hair.

"Annie, I'd be lying if I said yes. I can't tell you that. I wish I had an easy answer, but - you're eighteen. He was your first boyfriend. I don't know about the future but right now you can only say goodbye to him."

"I'm so tired of everyone saying that!" Annie says, her voice catching. "That I'm only eighteen, that he was just a first boyfriend!"

"Annie, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's what you keep saying!"

"Annie, I don't mean it isn't real," Rory says softly. "I just mean that you're going to love someone else and it'll be different. I know you loved him."

"I don't want to love someone else!"

"Annie."

"I feel like there's a sucking black hole in my chest. I just want to cry, all the time, and I can't do anything. I can't focus, I can't concentrate, and everything just reminds me of him."

"Sweetie, I know. I wish I could stop it hurting for you, but I can't."

Annie leans down into her arms and Rory holds her tightly, breathing her scent.

"Do you know what we can do?" she says gently. "We can change into our pyjamas and watch a really terrible movie and just cry."

"Both of us or me?"

"Depends on how bad it is."

Annie laughs at that and sits up, wiping her eyes.

"And I'll listen," Rory promises. "I want you to tell me everything that's hurting you until you start feeling happy again."

"It doesn't feel like I will."

"Maybe not right now, or even for a while, but you will. I can promise that, Annie. One day it won't be so terrible."

"Part me always wants to miss him," Annie admits. The tears are glistening on her eyelashes and Rory nods.

"I know, but listen - it won't mean you didn't love him if you stop missing him as much. And part of you will always love him."

"Do you still love your first boyfriend?"

"No, but - I guess what I mean is, you'll love what you had. You might not love Matt anymore but you'll be happy when you remember your relationship. You'll remember being eighteen and how it was and you'll love that. That's what I mean."

Annie nods, slowly, and says,

"I don't know if I believe that right now, Mom, but maybe someday. Right?"

"Exactly."

Rory kisses the top of her head and says,

"Do you want to pick a movie?"

"Sure," Annie says. "Can we just do one thing first?"

"Absolutely. What is it?"

"Help me put his things away?"

Several hours later Rory looks up as the key turns in the door. Jess comes in and widens his eyes and Rory puts a finger to her lips. Annie is stretched out on the couch, fast asleep, and Rory carefully gets up and tiptoes over to Jess, stepping over the icecream containers.

"Hey," she whispers. "Let's talk in the kitchen."

"Why's Annie asleep?"

"Kitchen!"

"Jeez!" Jess complains as Rory pushes him in. "What's going on? Is Annie okay?"

"She's fine. She will be. She's hurting, Jess. She told me about what happened with Matt."

"Do I need to go punch the punk?"

"No," Rory says with a laugh. "Leave him alone."

"He's hurt her."

"Oh Jess, they're just kids. I think he was a jerk to break up the way he did, but - Jess, Annie'll be okay."

"Is she really upset?" Jess asks, dropping the jokes. He leans against the counter, concerned, and Rory nods, heart heavy.

"She's devastated."

"Little jerk."

"Jess, what did I just say? They're eighteen. Annie'll move on, just give her time. She needs to be sad for a while."

"How long do you think that'll be?"

"Oh Jess, you know I don't know. She made a boyfriend box today."

"A what?"

"A box of stuff Matt gave her. I made one with Dean's stuff, years ago."

"You did?" Jess asks, looking at her curiously. "Did you make one for me? For Logan?"

"Not really," Rory admits. "Logan used to give me jewellery, or flowers and coffee, so I couldn't really box it. I put all his earrings and necklaces away once, but it wasn't the same. And with you I - I never made a box."

"How come?"

"I guess it never felt over with you," Rory says, looking into his eyes. "You mostly gave me books, Jess, and I didn't want to put them away. But it wasn't the same."

"It wasn't?" Jess asks and Rory shakes her head.

"No."

They're silent for a while and Jess asks,

"Is Annie really okay?"

"She will be. She's wallowing, at least."

"And I assume that involves eating the entirety of our icecream cartons."

"Jess, that's a key ingredient to getting through a breakup. You know that."

"I'd rather it's that than cigarettes," Jess admits. "I must have gone through about five packs a day getting over you."

"Do me a favour and don't tell Annie that."

"She already knows."

"Great."

Jess chuckles and Rory puts her hand in her pocket, getting the bracelet out.

"I think our daughter knows something else," she counters. "Or guessed, anyway. Something you want to confess?"

Jess frowns and then a steady pink coats his face.

"You took it!" Rory exclaims. "I knew it - I mean, not until this afternoon but then I knew and now I know it! Hah!"

"Relax already, you'll wake Annie!"

"You're not getting away with that," Rory says, pointing for emphasis. "Open up, Mariano. When did you take it and why didn't you tell me?"

"I...look, it was on the bridge," Jess says shyly. "When we had the picnic, remember? After the auction? And we'd been talking and having fun and you got up and I saw that you'd dropped your bracelet."

"You stole it!"

"I didn't know it was Dean's," Jess exclaims. "I just knew it was yours, and I wanted something to - I liked you, Rory. I liked having your bracelet. You didn't notice it had gone. If you'd been upset about it I'd have given it back."

"So why didn't you tell me?" Rory asks, letting the bracelet swing in her hand. "When I did know it was gone?"

"I was embarrassed," Jess says, grinning. "I was seventeen and didn't want to tell the girl I liked that I'd taken her bracelet because I had a crush on her. Would have ruined my street cred."

"And you had tons of that."

"So I snuck it back, under your bed, only when I came out your mom saw me and put two and two together. She was pretty mad. Didn't help that I said she shouldn't call Dean _son_ just yet."

"Oh, Jess."

"I was right, wasn't I?"

"No wonder you couldn't work things out."

"What I don't get is why it mattered so much to Dean," Jess says, spreading his hands out. "I mean, it was just a bracelet. You didn't mean to lose it."

"I wanted to keep him happy," Rory says quietly. The medallion is warm in her hand and she feels a nostalgic tug of sadness. "It was so long ago now."

"And now our daughter is crying over guys. Do you think I should go and tell her none of them are worth it?"

"Save it for a few days, Jess. Right now she doesn't want to hear anything."

"I used to always be able to make it better," Jess says ruefully. "I'd get her a book and suddenly it wasn't such a big deal anymore - the friend she'd had a fight with, the test she'd failed. I'm guessing it won't work this time."

"I think she'd still take it," Rory says, putting her arms around him. "Or just her dad being there for her."

"Well, I can do that."

Rory leans over, kissing him, but breaks away as a sleepy voice says,

"Dad? When did you get back?"

Annie is in the doorway, her eyes red and hair matted. She looks much younger than her years, somehow and Jess goes over and wraps his arms around her, kissing her cheek.

"Hey, Annie Laurie. I missed you."

"Dad, don't be so movie of the week," Annie says, but she hugs him back, tightly. "I missed you too."

"Hey," Rory says, when they let go. "How about pizza?"

"Sounds perfect, Mom," Annie says and there's a real smile for the first time in weeks.

That night, when the pizza has been demolished and the third movie of the day has been watched, Rory and Jess get ready for bed. Annie went early, and her light is off, but as Rory goes past she hears her name being called.

"What is it?" she asks, turning on the light and Annie asks,

"Will you sit with me for a second?"

"Of course, sweetie."

"I talked to Dad," Annie says as Rory lies down next to her. "And he says no guys are worth it."

"He's just trying to make you feel better."

"I know it's just - Mom, I don't want to fall apart over a boyfriend," Annie says thoughtfully. "But I can't help missing Matt. I can't help loving him. Does that make me stupid?"

"Of course it doesn't," Rory says, looking into her eyes. "It just means you have a big heart. It means you loved him a lot."

"Do you really think I'll love someone else?"

"Yes, one day. It might not be soon but - Annie, you'll move on. I promise."

"And you really don't regret your relationships?" Annie asks, not entirely convinced and Rory shakes her head.

"I learned something from all of them. I made mistakes, Annie, and I don't want you to hold on like me, but I'm never sorry I loved the way I did. It was hard when it didn't work out, and sad and confusing, but I'm not sorry."

"How come?"

"Because when it did work out I appreciated it even more. And I didn't lose what I had. I still remembered the good things about those relationships."

Annie is quiet, considering, and Rory puts her arm around her.

"I just wish I'd known one thing. Annie, relationships break up sometimes and that's okay. No one told me that. It's not something you have to fix, it's not something you can fix - you just have to be sad and start over. And it's hard, it's really hard, but it's worth it. You have to let go sometimes, but that means you're moving onto something better."

"You sound like a Better Midler movie," Annie teases. She's serious, however, as she says,

"You really think I can move on and not be sorry about it?"

"I know it," Rory says. "Annie, you just have to be sad. Cry it all out and feel awful and then, someday, you'll feel happy when you think about what you had. There'll be some bitterness and cursing, and activity I probably won't want to hear about -"

Annie laughs and Rory goes on,

"But it's all part of it. And one day you'll feel good again. I swear it, Annie. And in the meantime, I'm here. You know I am."

"I know you are too," Annie says. "Thanks, Mom."

"You're welcome."

Rory strokes her hair and Annie looks up.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Annie. More than anything in this world."

Annie smiles, snuggling down and closing her eyes. Rory gets up, tiptoes to the door and knows she's on her way to sleep. Before going to bed herself, she gets the bracelet out and smiles. How has it been so many years since it was given? She remembers it so well, newly sixteen, the cool air brushing the warmth in her cheeks. She'll never throw it away, Rory knows. Some things have to be kept. First love, moving on, and the sweetness of young love, not only hers, and later love too. One day her daughter will take her necklace out and know - she'll tell her own story. Annie is already stepping the way.


End file.
